The Spray of the Waves.

This video caused the following feelings to well up, like the waves, and generally I am not very poetic but It is as though when my mom passed she exploded and scattered herself through out all the world I know, revealing herself in the people I meet, the animals I see, and the nature I come in contact with.  So, this is about gratitude and appreciation for the connections of this world and the anniversaries I am celebrating in the coming days and weeks.

Women:
The importance of women in life alluded me in my earlier years, and I enjoyed the conversations had with guys much more. As the years matured I found the vulnerability that women have with one another in true friendship is irreplaceable. The moment I realized I was losing my mom I suddenly missed the women in my life dearly as I would soon be lacking the most important woman in my life. I regretted the times I'd changed in moments with ladies for moments with a dude because it felt like it was only them that could fully comprehend my loss. 

I have found this truth again and again in the last year. Year. 1 year. 1 year with out my mom. 1 year falling into step with women and people all over the world. It appears that the deficiency of my moms presence has led to an excess in the presence of incredible women in my life. Like I said at the beginning, it is like a wave smashing into the rocks scattering itself endlessly.  It has been so hard to do this year with out her, to go through the successes and the tears, to notice the subtleties, and gather strength.  Appreciate your mom, 

Men, mostly my dude:
I don't mean to leave the guys out of this one. I have met some amazing men along this journey; the kind that restore your faith in the opposite sex. However, there is one that leads the pack, one that is not family by blood, rather by proving he supports me. 4 years. 4 years with one dude. 4 years of laughing, adventure, and molding life to look exactly as it should. And in this past year our relationship has softened into something deeper, a sort of connection that affirms I'm with a bad ass that I wouldn't change in for the world. Like most of my connections these days I can't imagine it would be this deep had this year been any other way. 

There is unlimited depth in loss, realization and mysteries that uncover themselves in the strangest areas. It reveals to you the importance of connection and reminds you day in and out to respect those around you. Because we are human, we will sometimes fail. So like a plaque in my moms room once said 

Life is about

How well you live

How well you love

And how well you learn to let go. 

Thailand:
2 years.  2 years in Thailand.  2 years of my life looking exactly as I would have drawn it out to be.  The amount I have learned here is unbelievable (stay tuned for the 20 things I learned in SE Asia write up). Mostly it has provided me a away to expand beyond what I thought I would and spread myself through out the world as I've always wanted too. I have met incredible people, created my work life the way I want it, adventured with my dude as well as on my own, and lived by the sea!   

I am thankful for Phuket, for the people I have met, for the people that I know, for my dude my dad and my brother, for my incredible mama, and for all of the things that have helped me move through this year with out her. Each of you has influenced in a different way, making it tolerable and inspiring and I want you to know that. 

This next month I want to celebrate... Celebrate life, love, friendships, connection, travel, community, work, yoga, transition, beauty, knowledge, and YOU. Thank you all for the part you've played and I hope I've given you something in return to what you've given me.

Wishing you the best! Love!!!