Get Outta Your Head and Into Your Body

Get out of your head (stop thinking about it) and get into your body (and feel it)!

The above idea (getting out of your head and into your body) was born from watching students wiggle and squirm about during the still poses in yoga class; looking so obviously uncomfortable with the fact that it begins to even make me feel nervous.  

I mean , I understand, after all, there is so much to do when you are on a holiday, in paradise with all the time in the world to enjoy classes, food, friendship, and making these long term changes in your life.  

(Just kidding guys, well kind of)  

But really, we spend so much time these days thinking about the million other things we could or should be doing that we are falling short with the task at hand.  We are forgetting to set ourselves up properly for the future we want, whether that be a pose or something bigger, that we hurry to get somewhere that hasn't even happened yet.  We finish our yoga class and proclaim with great pride that "we did yoga today".  

But did we?  Or have we finished the class before we have even started it?    

Each time we step onto our mat we have the opportunity to pay very close attention to how we really feel about the things that we are doing.  It does not need to be thought about or analyzed, but rather experienced and witnessed for what it is.  We can impliment curiousity, and become child-like.  We can simply be in this space of movng ourselves in ways that would be considered quite awkward anywhere but here in a yoga class.  

In recent months I have been involved in the process of "branding" myself and what I do.  I often feel so disconnected from such an act and when I start to think about it too much I "do my head in" and get a bit "mental".  My classes essentisally go to hell in a handbasket and I feel confused about my own self and teaching style.  

This causes me to reach out to the people who enjoy my classes and ask them what makes my style special.  I am met with the similar answers everytime and am grounded back down as to why I do what I do.  You guys, the people I get the amazing opportunity to work with, are the ones that make me FEEL an unbelievable amount of love for what I do.  Rooting me back down from the insane madness of the yoga world, because when it gets business-y it is madness, and helping me to reconnect to the passion of why I teach and why I practice.  Some days you even bring me to tears.    

I certainly do not believe I am any hot shit in the yoga world, there are so many great amazing teachers with so much to offer.  But when I teach I FEEL all powerful (Bwahahahahah - insert super villian laugh).  All kidding aside, yoga makes me get out of my head about what I do and absolutely into the moment where amazing things can happen.  

The Nitty Gritty

There is sand in the ridges of my yoga mat.

No matter what I do it does not go away.

It is persistent about being there, about blending not so smoothly into the sweet sandalwood and jojoba oil puddles that christen my mat before each practice.  Oils that have been placed there with the idea of grounding, calming, and invigorating intentions, how quickly they betray me.

It starts by pushing into my shoulders as I lie flat on my back before my practice.  Then it moves ever so gracefully to my knees in childs pose and my hands in down dog to my elbows in dolphin.  Somehow, someway it manages into my mouth and my eyes breaking all bounds of comfort.

It could be worse though, I could not live near the beach and I could not be practicing yoga.  Two things I love very much.

But honestly I am a control freak about some things, (okay most things), and that is what brings me to my mat again and again.  

To be humbled.  
To be reminded.
To be brought to my knees before my expectations.  

Over the years I have learned that I cannot control anything besides my own actions and reactions, which in retrospect is actually the best thing to be able to control.  I have developed a patience and a control over my desire to control.  If that makes sense.  I use yoga to climb, (yes that is how I picture the effort some days... climbing), into my body and remember that I can control my breath, my movements, my emotions, my eating habits, how much I give and how well I receive.  It is the book I open when I am searching for information on myself.  

Some years ago my practice transitioned from asana obsessive to a more reflective state.  I began to see how my words, thoughts, feelings, and actions were effecting my practice., and how those very same thoughts travelled off the mat with me into my daily life.  And believe me, these thoughts were shit.  I was so hard on myself and rarely gave credit to accomplishment.  I noticed that if I took the time to become aware of these triggers and habits I could change them.  I could climb warily off my yoga mat after each practice and walk out into my life surrounded by people who challenged me and supported me, and I could start to see challenge and support as equals.

I learned that I didn't have to justify, claim, or defend my life.  I just had to get to know myself well enough to be comfortable making decisions.

It taught me the below conversation with myself:

There's sand in my yoga mat

It is hurting my hands

Thats why I cannot do a arm balance today 

Oh plus I have that shoulder injury that would never let me do an arm balance

I should just skip this practice, I can't really do the apex pose any way

Ugh, why does everybody think these poses are so awesome
Why is the teacher leading this pose, she hasn't even asked about injuries, thats dumb

Oh wait, I really just don't want to the damn arm balance......

Ok, if I am being honest it bothers me to do the forearm balance because I do not feel stable or strong enough and that is something that I really want in all areas of my life.
Stability and strength.  

Try the stupid arm balance

BOOM!!!!!!!!!

That sand, it respresents the part of me that drives myself crazy.  The oart of me that likes to be weak and out of control.  The part of me that is forever 4 years old and likes the attention of a sob story, born and bred from years of mindless belief that we have to have a long exagerated story to make outr actions worthy.  

It reminds me that I have to get over myself, to see the nitty gritty part of myself that likes to make excuses, and move into it, through it, and past it.  

Though I have not learned to love the sand in my yoga mat all the time, it is there to remind me that there is more work to do, more personal accountability to be had and less responsibility to spread onto others.

And that is something to love.  

We are the only ones that can change ourselves.  The only ones that make the decisions that create our own happiness or sadness.  Yoga just offers a gateway to have these conversations and move in ridiculous ways, continually proving your own awesomeness.

Get out of your head (stop thinking about it) and get into your body (and feel it)!